Smoke
by Disappearing Pucca
Summary: "Smokes are cheaper than food," Lucy says like it explained everything. (Gray falls off the wagon and Lucy has a chat with him about him and their resident water mage). / slight gruvia and nalu. lucy/gray bonding. one-shot.


Gray's got two big vices in his life (three if you count Juvia). Smoking and his stripping habit. Unfortunately for him (and those around him), his stripping was too far ingrained in him now to ever _really_ get rid of it. He tried to stop several times, he really did. After all, randomly going naked during a serious conversation was _totally_ messing with his image as a cool and aloof mage. Nothing seemed to work though, he and Natsu even tried to make a competition of it (something that usually worked). Gray didn't even last a week.

The other vice he had was smoking. The good news was that he hadn't smoked in a while. That was for two reasons, one was that Erza didn't approve and she was _Erza_. Enough said. The other was that he had noticed whenever he smoked, Juvia avidly avoided kissing him. When he asked her about it, Juvia had broken down in tears and said through watery eyes, _Juvia is sorry Gray-sama! She is such an ungrateful girlfriend but Juvia can't stand the taste of cigarettes! Not even on Gray-sama's heavenly lips!_

After that Gray actively worked to quit. It wasn't as if he was an addict or something, he smoked whenever the mood striked—which wasn't very often—or when he was stressed. However, he quickly found quitting cold turkey was harder than expected. Gray always thought he had pretty good self control, at the very least better than a majority of his guild. He got into fights pretty regularly at the guild, true, but he had also almost _never_ charged into a fight without a plan. Not the same could be said for all his guild members. All of this flashed through his head as he leaned against the side of the guild, taking a drag from his cigarette.

 _Damn, three months of work down the drain,_ Gray thought, but the familiar (and welcoming) buzz of nicotine in his body dulled any irritation he might have felt. Gray and Juvia had had a fight, or as much as a fight as they could have. Juvia didn't like fighting with him, she didn't even raise her _voice_ at him, even when they both knew he had majorly fucked up. And this _bothered_ him. They had been dating for almost _six months_ now dammit! She shouldn't be putting him on some kind of _goddamn pedestal_ , especially when he didn't deserve it. True, she had gotten better (much, much better) compared to how she was when she first joined the guild when it came to treating him like just another one of the guildmates, but there were times when she slipped back into her old habits. It made Gray uncomfortable, no one had ever had such- _faith?_ no that wasn't the right word, _belief_ wasn't quite right either but it fit better. Which was how he found himself here, in this situation, with a cigarette in hand and giving all his hard work a giant middle finger. It wasn't as if he had left the house this morning deciding to fall off the wagon, but he had had another sort-of-fight with Juvia again. There had been an itch in the back of his head when he stormed out, and before he even knew what he was doing, he was at the nearest corner store and buying their cheapest pack of cigarettes. Juvia would be so disappointed in him if she knew.

He wasn't good with words, he wasn't good at with expressing himself, he wasn't good at letting people in, he wasn't good at this whole relationship thing. Especially with someone like Juvia, who had no problem letting him (and usually others at the same time) know how she felt.

He wasn't good enough for her in general.

"You know smoking is bad for you," a voice says and he's surprised when nimble digits pluck the cigarette out from between his fingers. He turns his head slightly, blonde hair, short skirt, brown eyes, exposed cleavage, whip, and shiny keys hanging from her hip. Lucy. He's even more surprised when, instead of putting it out like he had expected, she takes a drag from the cancer stick. Gray watches her in interest as she inhales and exhales. She doesn't cough, doesn't wince, doesn't make any of the mistakes that a first time smoker would. She's done this before. It's no secret that Lucy's vain, she tries harder than she really needs to to seem cool. He thinks for a moment that it's technically an indirect kiss as she takes another drag, than he thinks that Juvia could _never_ find out. Lucy leans against the wall next to him, arms at her side, and his cigarette hanging loosely between her fingers. She blows out a smoke ring. She's definitely done this before.

"I didn't know you smoked."

"I don't. At least not anymore," she shrugs, takes another drag. "It's been—" she does some quick math in her head "-a little over three years since I quit? Well, ten if you count the time we were sleeping on Tenrou Island I guess."

Gray nodded, doing the math himself. Three— _ten_ he still has to remind himself sometimes—years ago was right before Lucy joined the guild. It's amazing for him to think about the fact that Lucy hasn't even been in the guild all that long technically, it feels as if she's been there forever. He half expects to look back on his memories and find her there in the background, scolding him and Natsu, comforting a crying Elfman, or chatting merrily with Erza and Levy. He's always surprised when he looks at an old photo of the guild and there's no familiar golden hair and brown eyes there. "So what was it? Some kind of rebellion against your father? Can't imagine he would be thrilled about the Princess of the Heartfilia Conglomerate putting poison in her body."

Lucy's quiet for a moment, staring up the sky. Her face is unreadable and he thinks he's said something wrong when she finally speaks again, "No. Nothing like that."

"Than what?"

"Smokes are cheaper than food," Lucy says like it explained everything. There's another lull in the conversation, Gray can hear a brawl breaking out in the guild. "So tell me Gray, what's put that look on your face? And does it have something to do with our Juvia bawling her eyes out?"

"Juvia's crying?" He jolts a little at that information. _Shit_ , he thinks. He _feels_ like shit.

"Was," Lucy corrects. She slants her brown eyes towards him and he freezes instinctually. He'll never tell anyone this, even under threat of torture, but Lucy was for _sure_ in the top five scariest people in the guild. It wasn't even her physical prowess, it was the looks she gave, the language her body gave off, the words she used to cut deeper than any sword ever could. Especially when it comes to the people she loves or her values. "She keeps wailing about how she messed up and how you hate her now. Mirajane and Lisanna were trying to comfort her, Gajeel eventually just knocked her out before she could flood the entire guild." Lucy pauses, "So what happened?"

There's that buzzing in the back of his head again, the same one that made him buy a pack of smokes. He digs the packet out of his pocket, hitting it lightly against his wrist but before one of those sticks could slide out, Lucy swiped the entire pack from his hand. He looked at her, glaring lightly. "Hey. I _bought_ those you know."

"I know," Lucy said, dropping the pack and the cigarette in her hand to the ground, she grinds both underneath the heel of her boot. He notices that she saved an unlit cigarette behind her ear though. It looks...weird on her. No one could say Lucy didn't fit like a dream in Fairy Tail, but she's never been quite as rough around the edges like the rest of the guild. Even Levy had more edge than Lucy. Natsu, Happy, and Lisanna had told the guild about Lucy Ashley of course, the foul mouthed, quick tempered, somewhat sadistic Edolas counterpart of their very own Lucy Heartfilia. Gray couldn't imagine her.

He could now.

It's like he's seeing Lucy in a new light.

The cigarette tucked behind her ear lending him new eyes and perspective. He notices all the scars on her body, both small and large. Like the scar starts at her shoulder blade and disappears into her shirt. Like patches where her skin is discolored from something that was likely painful. Like the thin, crisscrossing marks on the back of her thighs that look suspiciously like whip marks. Gray tries not to think about that. Like the small and barely noticeable scar on the side of her neck. Gray remembers that one. She had almost died when she received it. There were more, Gray _knows_ there's more. He's never really thought about it before, the scars that Lucy has. The scars that she's gotten from being a mage, from being a _Fairy Tail_ mage, the guild that always seems to be in the middle of something or another that was threatening the end of the world as they knew it. Her reflexes are fast, much faster than any normal humans. Those are the reflexes born from being put in danger time and time again, where being even half a second too slow could mean life or death. For a girl who's so vain and who's so proud of her looks, she sure doesn't mind showing off the patchwork of scars on her skin with those tiny scraps of fabrics she calls clothing.

Gray blinks and she's Lucy again.

Lucy, smarter than she lets anyone know. Lucy, more poised and messy than she knows. Lucy, the girl with more loyalty and grit in one pinky than most people had in their whole body. Lucy, always trying to be better, faster, stronger than she already is. Lucy, who's already so strong but doesn't—will probably never—see it. Lucy, his best friend and sister.

"Her praises make me...uncomfortable," Gray confesses quietly. It feels like he's admitting defeat by saying it outloud. Gray, the man who had gone up against literal demons and Zeref and motherfucking _dragons_ , brought down by a girl who showed her emotions just a little too much for his comfort. Pathetic. He tries to shift the topic to something he's more comfortable with like the coward he is. "You're paying for a new pack."

"Yeah. I don't think so," Lucy snorted. How completely unladylike of her, if Spetto heard it, she would have a conniption. "Besides, I did you a favor. They're cheap as hell and they _taste_ like it too. And don't think I don't know what you're trying to do, don't change the subject Gray."

He bites his tongue, if it had been anyone else on his team they would have fallen for it. Not Lucy though. She had always been too sharp for her own good, no wonder she wasn't satisfied with just being another rich guy's trophy wife. He groans quietly, voice coming out frustrated, "I don't know what to do! She puts me on this..this..this _pedestal_. And I'm terrified of what will happen when she realizes that I'm not anywhere close to the guy she thinks I am."

"How long have you known Juvia?" Lucy suddenly asks.

"Two...no three years? Almost three years," he finally answers, thrown for a loop by the question. "What does that have to do with—"

"And how long have you been dating?"

"Six months two weeks from Friday," he answers without thinking. Even if Juvia hadn't been dropping hints constantly for literal _weeks_ now now (some more subtle than others), he would have definitely remembered after Mirajne pulled him aside and put the fear of a demon in him.

She gives him another _look_ , a different one. One he can't quite decipher but it cuts him to the core all the same. Than her face softens, "And you really think in all that time, she's been blinded by her feelings for you?"

"Love makes people blind," Gray muttered, shrugging. "Or that's what I've heard."

"Not _that_ blind and not for _that_ long," Lucy said in amusement. A smirk crossed her face, brown eyes smug. He didn't like that look, "Besides—you don't think the guild hasn't noticed you've been trying to go cold turkey?"

He shifted again, of course they noticed. His guild was full of morons who charged in headfirst and impulsive idiots who never thought before they acted, but when it came to their guild members it was like they suddenly gained genius level IQ's. "So what? Aren't you always telling me how bad they are for my health?"

Lucy snorted, "And it always goes in one ear and out the other. One word from Juvia though and you're suddenly going cold turkey."

"And?"

" _And_ ," Lucy rolled her eyes, "If she was really ' _putting you on a pedestal'_ like you say, you really think she would mind you smoking?"

"That's kinda thin Lucy."

"But it's _something_. Besides, I can't really help you if you won't tell me what's got you falling off the wagon and avoiding Juvia." So he did, he told Lucy. And by the end, her mouth dropped open and she reached over and...slapped him upside the head.

" _Ow!"_ He yelped, more out of shock than pain. "What the hell was that for?"

"For being an absolute _moron_ ," Lucy pinched her nose in aggravation. "Mavis, and here I thought _Natsu_ was dense—-" she staunchly ignored his indignant _Oi!_ "-Gray. She's worried _you're_ gonna break up with _her_."

"W- _what?_ "

" _Think about it,_ " Lucy tapped his temple, a little harder than necessary but she was frustrated. "The poor girl's been in love with you for the better part of _three years_. And in all that time, you've never shown _any_ interest in her until recently! She probably thinks if she does something— _anything_ —to piss you off, you'll break up with her."

"Th-that's _ridiculous_!" Gray sputtered, shirt somehow off and composure all but gone. "I _love_ her!"

She gave him her most level, flattest look but her voice was gentle, "Have you told her that?"

He was silent for a few moments, than he leaned his bare back against the guild wall, deflated. His head was tilted down, bangs casting shadows over his eyes but she didn't need to see them to know what the expression on his face would be. He whispered, " _Fuck_."

Lucy didn't say anything.

He looked at her, eyes a little wide and cheeks a little red. "I messed up didn't I?"

"Not yet," and there was a smile playing on the edges of her lips. "Not if you go and tell her now. _Talk_ to her Gray. _Really_ talk to her. Don't just storm off because you're an emotionally constipated mess."

"Right," one side of his mouth quirked up into a half smile. "Thanks Lucy."

"No problem, what are friends for?" She held up a hand and waved it lazily twice before letting it fall to her side. He noticed that the cigarette behind her ear was now between her fingers, before he turned and ran off.

"You taste like cigarettes," Natsu said immediately after pulling away from the kiss she gave him. His nose wrinkled.

"I thought you liked the taste of ash?" Lucy leaned into his embrace, but trying to keep her mouth as closed as possible. She knew how sensitive his nose was.

" _Ash_ is different from _cigarettes_." Lucy nodded, humming and playing with his scarf as she stood there in his arms. Natsu asked a while, "When did you start smoking?"

"I didn't—-it was just relapse, I haven't had one in _years_."

"Oh," silence again. "Did something happen?"

"No," Lucy shook her head. "Just…" she looked up at him from under her eyelashes, "I don't know. Just fell off the wagon you know?"

"They're bad for you, you know."

"I know Natsu. I won't fall off again. I promise."

"And Celestial mages never break their promise right?"

"Exactly." More silence. Than Lucy asked quietly, hesitantly. "Do you...do you think maybe it's time to tell the guild? You know, about us?"

"Can we...can we wait? Just for a little while longer?"

Lucy fell silent again.

* * *

 **I don't have any clue what the hell this is, and it went in a** _completely_ **different direction in how I wanted it too. It was originally supposed to be a character study of sorts but I guess its' not happening. Might turn into a two-shot or might write a sequal. we'll see.**


End file.
